Although your relationships are crucial to your well-being and growth, there are times you may need to retreat a little and touch others lightly.

Erase personal history

To make major changes to your life, it may be necessary to ‘erase personal history’ (in American Indian Shaman terms). Your family knows everything about you. They have you all figured out and there is no power on earth that will change their minds about you. Everybody who knows you, has an idea about you and you keep feeding that idea. You renew your personal history by telling your friends and relatives everything you do.

If you have no personal history, no explanations are needed. Nobody is angry or disillusioned with your acts. Above all, no one pins you down with their thoughts. Sometimes, you need to create a fog around yourself because you are too real in the minds of others. You must erase yourself a little. Warriors know the art of truthfully answering any question without others being able to form any clear-cut image of them.

Touch the world around you lightly. Meet with people sparingly so that you don’t get bored with them. Learn to become deliberately available and unavailable. Retrieve yourself from the middle of a trafficked way. If you’re in the middle of the road, everyone passing by can watch your comings and goings. You may need to be physically inaccessible at times to avoid exhausting yourself and others.

Hunters know that they will lure game into their traps over and over again, so they don’t worry. To worry is to become unwittingly accessible. Then you cling, exhausting both yourself and whoever or whatever you are clinging to. Hunters don’t squeeze their world out of shape. They tap it lightly. They stay for as long as they need to and then swiftly move away, hardly leaving a mark – Don Juan

Keep it light and interest-based

Detachment instantly enhances your own strength. Keep it light, positive, and interest-based with others. It also keeps it light on yourself. You appreciate others as they are because you expect little if anything of them. Detached from outcome, you engage constructively. However, when you are judgmental or critical, you are most affected by other peoples’ energy. What you see in them is what you begin to experience in them. As you focus on something, you draw it out.

Practice unconditional acceptance in relationships. I try to be in relationship only with people I can accept completely as they are. Starting something with the hope of changing the other person along the way is not love and helps neither parties. I test myself: ‘With what it is right now, am I getting what I want out of this relationship?’

In a love relationship, when your loved one pops into your mind, send them universal life force energy, let them go, and return to the things of the moment. That way you are productive, not draining, in their etheric space. Additionally, you don’t waste energy that you could have used for yourself. Consequently, you have more of yourself to share with your partner. Since the energy you send goes through you first, you energize yourself in the process. This allows you to let go of hanging on to the other.

When I am in my centre and don’t need the other, I can enjoy their company. I feel their energy all around me even when not physically with me. When I am off-kilter, I need them to stabilize me, and I grab at them because I feel that they might slip through my fingers. I also tend to focus on what they are not giving me and, as a result, they feel distant to me.

In Self, in contrast, I am open to everything that others can give me, and I appreciate all of it, and I let it feed me of its own accord. No longer do I grab at anything I can get my hands on and devour it. Feeling as if I am starving is an illusion because I know that within myself, I am complete. This is the true meaning of unattachment.

Contact me here if you’re ready to become more centered.

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