Let’s explore how to get out a feeling of disconnectedness from life and superficiality in conversations. Here are some thoughts on connecting and conscious conversation in relationships.
How to reconnect
If you’re feeling disconnected, it is because you’re in a state of fear. The best way our of this feeling is to simply reach out to someone rather than wait for someone to connect with you. If you want to receive love & connectedness, send it first to whoever happens to be in your space. Work with whomever you have at hand, even the cashier or the car guard will do.
When there are no people around, we all have the ability to connect with animals and objects and it’s a skill worth cultivating. Here’s a useful starting point taken out of ‘Slaves of the Mastery’ by W. Nicholson:
“He thought about how it had been with the cow. He had had to slow his mind right down to communicate with it, because its thoughts were much slower. Perhaps the stick had feelings too in its own way. Everything has a form of consciousness and being able to plug into the various kinds of consciousness allows us to communicate with everything. He thought – ‘nobody talks to a stick’. Instead, he attended to it, he felt gently all around it with his eyes and through his eyes with his inner senses.”
Prior to reading this book and when I first learnt about Reiki, I managed to open a jammed car lock using exactly this gentle and respectful touch.
To merge with the person you are observing, shut off internal dialogue and let go. Merging is something that the body feels or does when put in observational contact with other bodies. That process is ‘seeing’. It consists of a lull of silence within, followed by an outward elongation of something in the self. This elongation meets and merges with the other body, or with anything else in one’s field of awareness. This also enables gut feel assessment. This is ‘knowing’ something of a person’s tonal with great certainty, out of nowhere – Don Juan
I have had an experience of merging with someone in intense conversation. I remember struggling for the right words to communicate something to her. Then suddenly I found myself in her body and mind, looking at myself for a few seconds literally through her eyes.
You can also grasp another through the will. This is feeling like you have tentacles growing out of your solar plexus. These are luminous fibres initially itching in the belly as they grow. These can then be sent out and joined with those of another and used for connection – Don Juan
I have experienced this kind of connection. I felt those solar plexus tentacles so strongly at times that the sensation became physically uncomfortable. I used to lie down with a stone or a bean bag on my stomach to help with the discomfort.
When you’re looking for signs of who to connect with, keep in mind that sudden, spontaneous eye contact could mean that two people should talk. Another cue is a sense of recognition: if someone looks familiar, even though you know you’ve not seen the person before, consider reaching out.
Most human interactions are confined to the exchange of words around thought. To truly connect, bring some stillness into particularly your close relationships. Spend silent time together. If spacious stillness is missing, the relationship will be dominated by the mind. Then it can easily be taken over by problems and conflict. In silence you are joined with others. Thinking, you are separate from others because your thoughts differ from theirs.
When I connect with others, I enter into the present moment fully. I am in tune, detached and pinpointing and often words get in the way.
To connect, listen carefully. Pure listening is alert attention and conscious presence. Meet the other without the barriers created by conceptual thinking. When you listen to another with your whole body, you are joined in one awareness. That is a relationship of communion, far deeper than one of thought exchange. In an alternative healing session, for instance, if there is a repressed emotion in the client, the skilled therapist may pick up physical symptoms related to that emotion by experiencing them in his or her own body.
Here’s a wonderful tool to deepen and enrich any conversation. James Redfield in ‘Celestine Prophecy’ describes how to practice conscious conversation:
Focus on others with an attitude of openness. As they talk, if you look closely, you can begin to see their Self. If you speak to this Self, projecting love at the same time, others will begin to move into that awareness while you are interacting with them. Perhaps they feel it for the first time. While communicating with them, send them ULFE. They will feel the increase of their energy as a sense of lightness and clarity as they formulate their thoughts to speak. They will talk more freely and share what they have to say with you more clearly.
You in turn will have a sense of revelation about what they are saying. This leads you to see their Self more fully and you appreciate it at an even deeper level. This gives them even more energy and greater insight into their truth and the cycle begins all over again. Both parties can reach incredible highs that way. Being with others in this way, you always get more out of the encounter than you put in. Others move closer to their Selves and their purpose in the process. The energy increase may prompt them to bring up a subject that provides you with a synchronistic message.
Get in touch here if this resonates and you would like to explore further.